Look Mom – I Made Oreos*!


* Ahem, I mean vanilla cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies.

After recently ingesting some Oreos(TM)(R)(C), my stomach sent a message to my cerebellum. It read:

Head of Ingestion Discretion:

It has come to our attention that the recently ingested substance [OREO-345B] has at present no known use within the Nutritional Code currently installed in the Digestive System. The substance will be quarantined in lower extremity holding cells until its use may be identified.

Suggest discontinuing ingestion until use is determined.

Asst. Nutritional Analyst



The Chief Justice and the Supremes

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One of the areas of our government shrouded in secrecy – or at least undistributed knowledge – is that august branch, the Supreme Court.

I wonder why the Justices aren’t called the Supremes.

Here are the things I know about the Justices:

  1. There are nine justices.
  2. They are appointed for life, or until they retire, which is much different than being appointed for life. It would be better to say they are placed in a position of unfireability. Is there no circumstance under which a justice can be fired?
  3. They decide whether certain laws or legally acceptable circumstances are discordant with the aims and declarations of the constitution.
  4. They wear black robes.

It turns out that there is a whole lot of protocol that has to be fulfilled in order for a case to be eligible to be heard by the Honorable Supremes. Even then, they get to choose which cases they want to hear. They listen and make witty and resounding rebuttals to lawyers’ nervous ramblings from Monday to Thursday, and on Friday they meet together in über-secrecy to discuss their voting, and they get a three month summer vacation. Sounds like a kooshy job.


A Note on Play: Observations on Improv

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♦ A note I wrote on Facebook in early January, re-posted for your viewing pleasure. ♦

I always labor under the suspicion that there is a great deal of our brains that we don’t in fact use. Many scientists concur, but I don’t think much of scientists. I do think a lot of play, however.

Many of you have witnessed the giddy glee that overcomes me when presented with a game, especially a silly one. While some may dismiss the silly, I embrace it as an opportunity to prove once again that there is no box.

We are constantly exhorted to “think outside the box,” which only reinforces the parameters of unproductive thinking. We are encouraged to see the real possibilities outside of this box, which always makes me ask, “What box? Who put it there? What makes you think we are outside of it now?”

If you want to see, really see, reality and all of its great, glorious, dark, and dire possibilities, you must play.

The Power of Breathing

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In honor and recognition of the 365 days that have passed since I needed to take my high-powered anxiety attack meds (with many “huzzah!”s and much rejoicing), I thought I would elaborate to you the simple and yet highly complex function of breathing.

It is one of my traits that I require a context for everything, and so it was rational – for me, at least – to pooh-pooh the general suggestion of friends (and doctors) to “breathe” when I felt anxious, because they never gave me a reason.

What,” asked I, “could breathing possibly do to help solve this problem?”

Alas, I tell myself now, how foolish are the follies of the uneducated!


Soft We Mosey in the Night


Today is, besides from Thursday, a prime number, and purple, my father’s birthday. I can’t help but combine this happy occurrence with a revelation to you of one of my most treasured adventures with him.

It started out as a cool evening walk in the summer (or one of the seasons that wasn’t winter; though of course, now that I think of it, it could have been winter, but that’s not important). It ended into a bubbling foray into comparative linguistics.

Of course, comparative linguistics may not be the correct term, but it remains a fact that we were closely examining English, which is a language — allegedly — and so falls into “linguistics”, and we were comparing words within the language, so hence, comparative linguistics.

The conversation probably began with a comment about how nice it was to be out for a walk. Then, as those brains born into Scrabble-playing, dictionary-using families are apt to do, a brief list of synonyms was put forth.

Perhaps we were not out for a walk. Would it be more correct to say we were out for a stroll? Or indeed, a ramble? A deep and thorough look into each synonym followed, complete with well-argued stances over the exact implication of each term.

The rest of the walk turned into a great fishing expedition, wherein we netted over 100 Terms Used for Various Methods of Self-Powered Bi-Pedal Locomotion (as my father put it), or 100 Ways to Cross a Room (as I did). Our late-night venture proved profitable for the entire family, who joined in to help fill out the ever-growing list once we returned home.

Here follows this annotated, still-incomplete list with an open invitation to help expand it. I end this post with an ebullient outpouring of effervescence in wishing my father many happy returns of the day. More

A Beginning, or at least, A Preparation

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It’s a most ridiculous thing, having so many interesting things to write about but not writing anything because I don’t know what the first post should be about. So here it is, a first post about a first post. How often I pause at making a journey because I don’t want the first steps to go awry! I suppose that’s why I prefer leaping.

I promise things will get a bit more interesting.

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